Umm I'm too high to move.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
