Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
