I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
True strength comes from lack of pants
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize