i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
