Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Barsexuality is the new black.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
