yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
