My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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