I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
