I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
