the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can feel your judgement through the phone
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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