Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
