He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
