I love having hate sex.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The struggles of a small town man whore
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
