More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
