apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
