you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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