I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
