would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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