It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My breasts were aching with rage.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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