thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
