I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
