I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
