You're so nebulous sometimes
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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