i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
