I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize