Banned from zoo.
Again?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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