How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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