I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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