a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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