my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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