i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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