We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
