It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
