i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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