wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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