Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
