K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
