Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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