I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
