this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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