with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
