Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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