she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize