we need to drink 2009 down the drain
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
