As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
