Duck Duck Cougar?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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