isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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