spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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