you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
