i don't like sucking hair
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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