But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Panties = found
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize