I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
