at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i will never coherently bang her
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
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She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Blood and glitter go together right?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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