pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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