dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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