No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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