Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
