Kiss
Puke
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My vagina is officially offended.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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