I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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