I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i've created a new STD.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize