This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
birth control should be required to get into college
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
