dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize